For twenty one years

We loved that line
And I would take it easy
If I had your mind
But I'm a cannonball to a house on fire
And you're slow like Motown soul

2/12/2010

No matter what color skin,
No matter what language,
And no matter what land.
All people laugh in the same tongue
And cry in the same tongue
Its all an endless batch of song
All on loan
And all only turned loose to sing

Lonely, ah yes!
But it's the flowers and mirrors that now meet my loneliness
Dissolving deep to the depth
Of whatever freedoms they say I have
But that, then, shall remain my song.

There's a movie
The last line proclaims
"Music, man, that's where its at"
That's my religion
And outside the chimes are ringing.

I'm beginning to hate the internet

Sure, it's great in it's own respective ways
But people seem to take advantage of that.
It seems like people make this fake internet persona of themselves to hide behind.
It's understandable to a point, it's fucking hard to face reality, and it's nice to get away for some time.
But goddamn, people are starting to forget who they really are.
They are so use to hiding that they convince themselves that this is how they really are.
It'll all come back to you, I promise.
In the worst ways, at the worst times.

I'll tell you from experience, it really fucking sucks.
You can't escape from reality forever.

Oh I'm sailin' away my own true love
I'm sailin' away in the morning
Is there something I can send you from across the sea
From the place that I'll be landing ?

No, there's nothin' you can send me, my own true love
There's nothin' I wish to be ownin'
Just carry yourself back to me unspoiled
From across that lonesome ocean.






I don't know how it's possible to be so tired, yet so awake.
I'm in a weird spot, though I don't know why.
Nor do I have any reasons to feel like this.
Well I guess no reasons that I'll admit to myself.
I keep having this reoccurring dream, I've never really tried to decipher what my dreams meant, always kinda thought they were just random thoughts or whatever.
But this one sticks with me
It's hard remember every detail, even though I've had maybe 4 or 5 times.
I just know I'm sitting near the ocean, I can't pin point the place, but it's not anywhere near.
Neither the east or west coast, maybe somewhere in Europe.
I don't know.
But it keeps bothering me, cause I always wake up with a very un-easy feeling, and I feel like something is wrong.
Something is obviously wrong with me.

one of my professors handed this out after we took our finals
I really like it, decided I'd share


"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their stories. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser people than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with your God, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep with your soul. With all that is sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy."

-Max Ehrmann

an addition to my last post

Yes, people can influence your decisions, but it's when you start letting them control your thoughts that problems arise.
Everyone has flaws, everyone has vices, and everyone thinks differently. From whatever president is in office, to whatever Bob Dylan is out protesting against them. Take advantage of that.

So in my sociology class I was called an 'unpatriotic cunt'
It basically started when we had to write a short paper explaining what we think the problem is behind our country (if we do think there is a problem) and all the social norms and morals that support this way of thinking.
Of course, my cynical self went to town on this and my basic thesis was that the majority of Americans are stupid, lazy, and dont think for themselves.
Which, sadly, is true. Examples including the military wife who called me an unpatriotic cunt.

The majority of people think that just because we're from this country and we're supposedly the greatest country on earth, we are allowed to do what the fuck ever we want and tell everyone else how it's done. We are close minded sociopaths who think we know it all and that everyone else is wrong. This includes everyone, from the bleeding heart liberals to the conservative republicans. We don't make our own decisions, we let someone else with a higher social status make them for us and just jump on the bandwagon and agree. For a country that is supposedly free and has endless opportunities to be different and make something of ourselves, we sure do like to conform to everyone else.
You don't need a mohawk to be punk rock, you don't need to wear neon and listen to 3Oh3 to be popular, you don't need to be poor because the rest of your family is, and you sure as hell dont need to think you're better than everyone else because your daddy is a doctor and drives a BMW.

Here's an idea, make your own opinion, no matter how outlandish or stupid it may seem to the public, it's your own thoughts and that should be the one thing society can't control. Yet we're letting this mass media and biased bullshit think for us because we're too lazy to think for ourselves. Don't argue that the media isn't biased either, everything is biased, from the obvious Fox News to Cnn, peoples opinions are going to be the front topic before any basis of fact. We're too caught up trying to live the 'American Dream' and make a lot of money and drive big cars and be respected. The truth is, no matter how important and inspirational you think you are, you're going to be hated. Stop trying to please everyone and make yourself happy. If being a Ceo of some big company and making loads of money makes you happy, then do it, it doesn't mean you're right and someone else is wrong, and if you wanna live off the land and go to Alaska and die in the back of some abandoned bus, that doesn't make you right either. Everything is based off of opinion. It'll always be like this, people need to accept it and live their own lives and stop worrying about everyone else.

Live for yourself and your loved ones, not to make your country proud or not because some god says it's the right thing to do. Be smart about it, not smart in societies way of looking at things, but smart in your own way.