You say you wanna be free
But you don't know from what
She looked you straight in the eye
and said "you gave away love"
And now you're looking for an answer
to the questions you never knew
And in the back of your mind
You hope that love is still waiting for you.


But wake up
Cause you're not done
You could fix yourself up, kid
And you could learn how to love
Someone besides yourself for once...

You finish another bottle
in the backseat of her old car
and you're trying fight off sleep
trying to fight off the oncoming dark
cause when you go to sleep
You just dream of that little girl
staring at you from her front porch
her wide eyes are just like yours
then you awake the next day,
barely sober and looking for truth
just to realize you're still in the backseat
telling yourself this isn't like you.




Just wake up
You're not done
You could fix yourself up, kid
You could learn how to love.

I've been posting a lot lately, I know.

I don't know what it is
But I'm excited
for what, I don't know.
I keep re-discovering myself with every word I write
every book I read
every person I meet.

Sometimes I get this overwhelming feeling of loneliness
Then I remember it's all in my head.
It keeps me up at night sometimes
but it gives me more time to think, to get things done.

I'm about to go on a walk to Broadway to see Mansions and John Nolan
Kind of a spur of the moment thing
A month ago I would of rather sat here by myself
But I'm feeling this urge to get out and be social more and more.
Maybe it's just a phase, maybe it's a pattern?
Whatever it is, I like it.

You wouldn't read a book if it wasn't interesting

So I don't feel the need to talk to people who bore the hell out of me.
Does that make me an asshole?
Probably.

Anyway, that really has nothing to do with the content on this blog. To be honest I don't really have any content to this blog, so if I end up rambling back to that, feel free to exit the page and go about your myspace/facebook/twitter/porn or whatever else you guys do on the internet.
I won't be offended, pinky promise.

My cat is sitting on my pillow next to me, glaring at me. I do believe he's a bit mad. I've had some people stay at my house for awhile now until their lease went through for a new apartment. Their names are irrelevant to anyone who doesn't actually know the situation. They are moving out today and yesterday they brought over a small dog and another kitten to stay the night. My kitten wasn't having it and I'm pretty sure he's jealous as fuck. It's kinda funny though, how a human emotion can flow through an animal and it's cute, yet when a person is feeling the same emotion it's a bad thing.

That really has nothing to do with anything either. I just really feel like writing, but I'm not in a productive mood, so the couple of short stories I'm working on or the notebook filled with unfinished lyrics will have to wait until another day. So I'm just going to write down whatever random thought pops in my head.

The fucking All Star game yesterday was awesome. Did you see that catch in center field? Carl Crawford is a beast of a left fielder. Everytime I watch a baseball game I slip into this mode where I absolutely hate myself for ever quitting. That's life though. Everybody would be something else if they knew what could happen ahead of time.

I really want to travel, I need to get out of this state soon. Nothing against Louisville, it's a great place to live, but hell I want to see something different. We're going to Chicago (and maybe Florida) in August. I'm very excited for this. Not only am I seeing the band that has been my favorite since I was 8 years old, on their big ass reunion tour, but I get to see a great city that I've always wanted too. Not to mention the road trip there, something about the open highway seems more like home than where I am now, sitting in my bed with a re-run of Seinfeld going unnoticed on the television.

I'm going to stop this blog of nothing before I spend all day writing about something no one cares about. I have a show at Derby City Expresso this weekend, and hopefully I'll be hanging out with a new friend as well.
Looks like a good weekend ahead, now to just get through the remainder of the week at work. Which has become a bit more fun because of me and Tim's mini baseball game we play with 20 ounce bottles and a wadded up piece of paper.
You gotta have some entertainment in that place.



later
-Josh

You get back here, you do it slowly
Do it calm now, don't be so angry
I got something I've been chasing
Every day since I started walking
It just sits there in the distance
and it always flirts with the tips of my fingers

You thought that you could love it
Until it touched you
And now you just wanna stop it
Well I'm sorry it's not likely
It was here when you got here
And it'll be here when you're not here no more

But then some days
I get lucky, I can focus and things are less shaky
And I scrape you off the pale moon
And I slip you into soft shoes
And you tapdance to a jazz band
On a cruise ship near an island
and your hair's up, you wear a short dress
And a wide smile, your movements are careless

It's a daydream I keep having
To make the clocks move while I'm working
Or a bad joke I can't sit through
And I smile because I feel like I have to

But if you'd look under the table
You'd see I'm playing with my knife
I'm slicing stripes into my kneecaps
And I'm struggling just to come off polite

We could be a snapshot framed and hung like a portrait
What if that's true and I'm the only one who knows it?