This blog is about regret.
"Live life with no regrets," I use to say that all the time. It's funny how much of a hypocrite I was. It's impossible to live life without regrets, you see, regret is a feeling. To live life without it means about as much as saying "live life without being sad." It's impossible. Something will happen that will inevitably make you sad. The same as something will happen that you'll inevitably regret. I have come to realize I regret a lot of things in my life, but the thing is I've learned and gotten past most.
I've tried so hard to be optimistic lately but it's failing. I have so fucking many ideas I want to put into motion but at this point I'm not capable of doing. So I wait, and my patience runs thin.
I've accustomed my self to being a loner. My whole life I've pretty much said "I'll do this by myself, I don't need your help." It's my stubbornness. That is my biggest regret. Now I realize more and more everyday that all my dreams and aspirations in life cannot be accomplished without the help of others.
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I used to think I would never have any regrets. for a long time I told myself I had none, and that everything happened for a reason, Josh. But now I finally turned around and looked at my life, right in the face. If I look at it like a jar, it's so transparent, that I can clearly see those regrets. They just swim around with each other, crowding my ambitions, and dreams. Some days it depresses me. Others I can manage to be optimistic. I am finding it strange that me, the girl who was always looking for the silver lining, can't seem to find it in nearly anything anymore. You know some of my regrets. Life is so different now from the supposed plan I had a few months ago. Sure. I have a band, and a job, and thing have started to straighten out.. but in the main view, I still feel regret, and discontent. I believe in you. Through struggle, you seem to always come out a brighter person... and you have so many people believing in you. Keep your head up kid. It's all you can do. And know that you will get around this. Think about this: Today is not even a blip on tomorrow's radar. In ten years, a year, or even a week, life can change. You are still the best friend I've ever had. There has to be a reason for that.
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