March 9th, 2009

I've been anxious lately.
I think it's mostly to just get through this part of my life and move on to the next
Although I don't know what that is, or what that'll be.
I use to be so afraid of growing up, and about losing those close to me because of it.
Now that I finally have friends that, without any doubts, I know will still be there no matter what, I find myself happy about it. I'm excited to see what's in store and what opportunities I'll have and what I'll end up doing.
No matter what I keep falling back to music. I can't possibly see my self happy doing anything else.

A couple nights ago I kinda had an anxiety induced breakdown, took my mom's car (considering mine doesn't have a radio) and just drove. I ended up quite far from home, and lost. I got pulled over in some little town south of Louisville for speeding. Although the cop was really nice and I explained to him that I was lost and just really nervous because I couldn't find an open gas station and was running out of gas. He didn't give me a ticket or anything and ended up showing me the nearest open gas station where he joined me for a cup of coffee. He was a nice guy, I'm usually intimidated by police, but he reminded me that a cop is just another guy, working another job to make ends meet. It was nice of him, and I really appreciate it.
I finally got back home around 6 am. All in all, the open road was nice, almost relieving.

My mom is in the hospital again, which is why I was able to take her car in the first place. She's having the same surgery she has had in the past, the doctors messed up the first one and now she's suing for malpractice. She seems to get worse with each surgery. Hopefully this one will work out, I'm worried about her.

Anyways for something a bit more positive, I'm leaving for Florida Sunday night, after the Taste Of Chaos tour we're playing. I'm really stoked on it. It'll be a nice escape for awhile, because when I get back I'll have to crack down on this financial situation I've found myself in. It's nothing too bad, I just gotta get it fixed before I can move on. I've found it a lot less stressful if I just take everything in stride, not to get too many things mixed up and do way too much at once. After that I want to start college again, fuck I miss it. It's weird how it's been almost two years since I've been in high school and I feel smarter now and more prepared then when I first graduated, even after the two years of no school. I've always heard people say to go into college right after high school because you'll just end up losing interest in it and not go, with me it's the opposite.

Well I'm done rambling now.
I'm sure I'll post pictures and videos and random stories from Florida here.
It'll be a fun time.


later